“You are so nice!” Has anyone ever said this about you?
This is a compliment that typically has to do with the way we treat others. Some of us are quick to please others, pour life into them, while denying ourselves the same kindness. I was definitely guilty of this and the Inner Critic played a role in it. Early last year, I decided to change that and embark on a journey, to become for myself, the type of person I am for everyone around me.
While I value being nice to anyone I interact with, I needed to simultaneously practice being for myself, who I was for others. Our integrity is strengthened when we allow our internal and external selves to be one in the same. I practiced replacing the Inner Critic’s narrative with my internal compass (future blog will discuss this in more depth) and being N.I.C.E.
What does being NICE to myself look like?
Being NICE to myself means: Nurturing self-talk on a daily basis, practicing Integrity, growing self-Compassion, and developing my Emotional Intelligence.
Nurturing self talk: I committed to daily affirmations and doing my best to ensure my self talk reel throughout the day was nurturing my growth and development.
Integrity: Practicing integrity was about ensuring that my behaviors aligned with my beliefs, allowing my authentic self to be front and center. I also practice connecting my nurturing self-talk to my integrity practice. For example, if my affirmation is ‘I can do hard things’ then I will practice integrity by giving myself to the opportunity to do hard things.
Compassion: Self-compassion allowed me to extend grace to myself when imperfections arise and insightful understanding when setbacks occur. The C also represented committing to this process of NICE for 100 days and intentionally Complimenting myself along the way. I have been practicing NICE for over a year now and I have also added celebrating to the C category.
Emotional Intelligence: I further developed emotional intelligence by paying attention to, documenting and processing the dominant emotions I felt each day. I chose to extract whatever lessons, wisdom, and intelligence I could from those emotional experiences. Practicing emotional intelligence exercises with stereotypically undesirable emotions allowed me to address the underlying need so the emotion could fulfill its purpose and dissipate. The same exercises with stereotypically desirable emotions allowed me to identify which needs were being met and how, so I could intentionally replicate those emotional experiences more often.
As I continue to practice being N.I.C.E. to myself, I encourage you to do yourself the favor as well.
Do you need a road map to guide you along the way? Download my 30 Days of NICE eWorkbook to keep note of your progress for every step of NICE.