12 Signs That You're Being Too Self-Critical
It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the best person you can be. It only makes sense to examine negative results in life and try to do better the next time. But it’s also easy to become too self-critical. A high level of self-criticism is detrimental to success and good mental health. Excessive self-criticism hurts your self-esteem and confidence.
If you identify with any of the following, you might be too critical of yourself:
You’re paralyzed. One sign that you’re overly critical toward yourself is a lack of action. If you’ve been stuck in the same situation for an extended period of time, you’re too hard on yourself. Otherwise, you’d be out here taking care of business and making positive changes in your life. Watch the ‘You Feel Paralyzed’ reel here
You’re slow to forgive. When you can’t forgive yourself, you’re unable to forgive others. When you can let go and forgive yourself, you can do the same for the other people in your life. If you are having a hard time forgiving yourself, you may be too self-critical. Watch the ‘Forgive’ reel here
You’re never pleased with your accomplishments. It doesn’t matter to you that you got the position you worked your butt off for or that you reached your goal. You’re bothered by the fact that it didn’t happen sooner or with more ease. The inner critic doesn't allow you to acknowledge, let alone celebrate, your accomplishments. Watch the ‘Accomplishments’ reel here
You’re not assertive. You have to be secure within yourself to feel comfortable with asserting yourself. Assertiveness allows us to create healthy boundaries although it also brings the risk of rejection. Being too self-critical can increase the fear of rejection from others and lead us to silence ourselves. Being assertive is also self-care. Watch the ‘Assertive’ reel here.
Join my workshop to learn more.You consistently say bad things to yourself. There’s little harm in a small amount of negative self-talk. But a constant barrage of self-criticism is highly damaging. Imagine telling your child that they can’t do anything right and should give up trying. It sounds cruel when viewed from that perspective. Watch the ‘You’re Saying Negative Things About Yourself’ reel here
You’re a chronic perfectionist. Perfectionism is both a symptom and a cause of self-criticism. Consistent perfectionism is a sign to neutralize the inner critic. Watch the ‘Perfectionist’ reel here
Others feel comfortable being critical of you. If this is true, you may struggle with assertive communication and enforcing clear boundaries. It’s also likely you’ve begun to internalize their criticisms, confusing their words for your own voice. It’s time to reclaim your voice! Watch the ‘Others Criticize You’ reel here
You criticize yourself in general terms, rather than just for specific circumstances. There’s a difference between telling yourself that you made a mistake and telling yourself you’re a whole hot mess, or your life is trash. General criticism is false and highly damaging. A lack of success at a particular activity doesn’t make you flawed at everything. It’s illogical. Watch the ‘You Criticize Yourself’ reel here
You keep your opinions to yourself. While you have every reason to avoid telling your neighbor you think they’re unattractive, it’s important to feel comfortable sharing your thoughts about the project. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your opinions freely or saying the “wrong” thing, the inner critic is blocking your integrity. Watch ‘You Keep Your Opinions to Yourself’ reel here
You spend too much time dwelling on your mistakes. Can you move on quickly after a short period of self-reflection? Or do you dwell on your mistakes for an extended period of time? Ruminating is a tool of the inner critic. Watch the ‘Dwelling On Your Mistakes’ reel here
You find yourself unable to ask for help. Asking for help is normal, healthy, and a sign of success. The more supported we are the better! Are you afraid of being viewed as incapable? If so, you’re too critical of yourself. Watch the ‘Ask For Help’ reel here
You rarely give yourself compliments & feel uncomfortable receiving them. Everyone is good at something. Or maybe you know you’re good at a few things but don’t think you deserve a compliment. Either way, you’re being too hard on yourself. Watch the ‘Compliment Yourself’ reel here
You’re sabotaging yourself by being overly self-critical. You limit both your success and your mood.
Realize how much you harm yourself with self-criticism. Learn from your mistakes and apply the information with compassion and enthusiasm.